Carnegie's Second Principle: Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation

Carnegie stated that the only way to get someone to do something is to make them want to do it. He added the caveat that while you can make someone want to do something through force, the repercussions tend to far out weigh the results.

As humans we have few needs; one of such needs is affection. A study was done to see which was more powerful affection or nourishment. Psychologists took baby monkeys and gave them the option of two artificial mothers: one wire but able to supply milk, the other furry but unable to provide food. The babies grasped relentlessly to the furry "mother" because their desire for affection far outweighed their desire to even eat.

Another study was the Language Deprivation Study done by King Frederick II to determine what language a person would learn if he was not influenced by other languages. He isolated infants in a cell and had nurses feed and bathe the babies but not to interact with them further. ALL of the babies died without any observable causes. Many now believe that they died because they lacked significant interaction and affection.

Everyone seeks appreciation and by extension affection. We all seek greatness, possibly for the desire of affection, but definitely to be appreciated. Carnegie reckons that is why our ancestors developed civilization in the first place. Perhaps the Egyptian pharaohs were a prime example, but it cannot necessarily be said for all cultures. Recently, at a work function a father requested the microphone for a moment. He was the father of an individual from the winning team (the winning team was Canadian) of a design competition and after much inaudible blabbering he said this,

America is the greatest country not because of its weather, resources, or intelligence, but because of American's sense of pride and determination to be great.

A person's desire to be great can overwhelm the individual to the point that their sanity slips to allow them to be great in their won fictitious world if unable to be so in ours. I recall a car dealer growing up demolishing his sprawling mansion to build one larger than his neighbor's new house. He lived with only his wife (who later left him) so there wasn't a need for additional space. As stated in the first section, we are not logical beings by any means, but emotional ones.

The great businessman Charles Schwab said that the one ability he had that made him so great was his ability to arouse enthusiasm among people. Considering how today companies hire "Motivational Speakers" to rally the troops and have sales contests I would agree fully. It is by the human race's desire to be great that we may influence people; should someone sincerely believe that an act is a stepping stone to greatness they will do it with haste.

Respect and appreciation goes a long way. Every major holiday I bake cookies and give them to the people often forgotten about. Our janitorial staff, the security guards, and the baristas at my local coffee joint. Since I have begun doing this, the lady who cleans my office always brings the vacuum by when my office looks a little disheveled but not to others. The security guards greet me with a wave and a friendly smile (and often stop other people who they see more frequently to "verify credentials"), and the coffee shop tends to make my coffee ahead of those in line. It is because I show my gratitude, be it tipping, baking or otherwise, that they have befriended me even if they don't know my name.

Homework:

Show genuine respect and gratitude to each person on the totem pole, no matter their position on it. Everyone talks, it may be the person on the bottom who's voice rings the loudest.