Carnegie's Second Principle to Get People to Like You: Smile!

This chapter has to be my favorite so far. Carnegie states:

The expression one wears on one's face is more important than the clothes one wears on one's back.

Truer words may have never been spoken. Of all forms of communication body language speaks the loudest. Of body language the most predominant is facial expressions. I remember a look my mother gives when my us "kids" (my three cousins, my sister, and I) have gone perhaps a bit too far at Sunday dinner. I jokingly call it the "look of death" because if looks could kill this one certainly would. Without speaking a word or lifting a finger she can say volumes of words.

I have noted before that charm is essential in "influencing others," and that a friendly smile is as well; but, smiles are also contagious things. Carnegie tells a story of how a waiting room of people held a serious facade. Their gloom was extinguished when a baby was brought in and began to smile at the people around it. We too have this power to brighten people up. The encouragement in a smile moves people to want to agree with what you are saying. Carnegie used the example of who some telemarketing companies instruct their callers to smile because a smile can be heard in a voice. I have to agree with the effectiveness of this; if I smile I sound cheery, with a look of apathy my voice sounds like a smoker's.

People are more apt to do well if they enjoy what they are doing. Apathetic participants have no stake in the outcome and thus don't have the drive to succeed. Shakespeare was quoted in the book as saying:

There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

You have the power to make your day better! Don't blame the world/cosmos/karma for your day, that falls to you. Things may go less than desired, but you are the one that reacts positively or negatively to it. Does getting a ticket spur you to drive faster out of anger, or realize you were going too fast and should have slowed down?

If we are wearing smiles perhaps we should also revisit Carnegie's first principal:

Don't criticize, condemn or complain

And should you need help smiling here is what I do:

I sing random songs that can't be sung and be serious (often in the elevator) such as "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." I make faces at coworkers (the ones that know me), and I don't take myself too serious.

Homework:

Hold your head high and keep your gaze at or slightly above the horizon. Tilting your head down gives you a gloomy appearance that doesn't invite people; but, use caution, too high and you give the air of arrogance. Also I have noticed that those people who have the arrogant stare admiring the ceiling tend to trip over things and are abruptly humbled.